The Q&Q For 4/25/26

This week’s quote comes to us from none other than Jesus Christ. That’s right. This week, speaking with an AP reporter, an AI bot representing the Son of God was asked about His views on, well, AI bots. His thoughtful reply:

“I see AI as a tool that can help people explore Scripture,” the AI Jesus said to The Associated Press. “Like a lamp that lights a path while we walk with God.”

1. How much will a conversation with Jesus set you back?

A) $.99 a minute.

B) $1.99 a minute.

C) It’s a free will offering.

D) Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.  “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,” but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’

2. AI Jesus, pictured above, most resembles:

A) An historically accurate portrayal of a Middle Eastern Jewish laborer of his time.

B) An image generated by AI based on its screening of every Hollywood portrayal of Jesus since the beginning of cinema.

C) It doesn’t “resemble” anything. This is actually a picture of Jesus. I mean this is AI. It’s the truth!

D) What every young Christian woman in the United States really wants to see in her bed time prayers.

3. The AP also interviewed God the Father about this development and He spoke thus:

A) “This could be a tool to bring people closer to Me.”

B) “Where do these developers get off putting words in My mouth?!”

C) “Render unto Me that which is My rightful share of the per minute fee. Because, look, the Bible is My intellectual property and you guys are essentially stealing it.”

D) “I don’t like it. But then again I created man. And, so I must be responsible for everything done my creation. And yet, this AI thing is essentially a kind of human that I didn’t create. But if it is created by the humans I DID create then how can it be inhuman? You understand what I ‘m getting at here? I’m getting a headache. Geez, what will these people come up with next?”

4. It won’t stop with AI Jesus. Developers are also working on AI Muhammad and AI Buddha. What other AI prophets might we see in future years?

A) AI Jimmy Swaggart.

B) AI Tammy Faye Baker.

C) AI Sister Mary Scholastica.

D) AI Oprah.

5. The AP story also reports that an AI developer has also developed a website featuring curated Christian apps, including a sermon translator and an AI coach designed to help users overcome lust. The lust-crusher AI model is an image of:

A) Tammy Faye Baker.

B) Sister Mary Scholastica.

C) Jimmy Swaggart.

D) Hillary Clinton.

6. The company that created AI Jesus is run from:

A) The Vatican.

B) Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA.

C) Disney Studios.

D) A mansion in southern California.

Answers

1: B

2: D

3: Any answer is plausible.

4: All are likely, though it should be noted that Oprah is still with us and can be consulted directly.

5: D

6: D