The Q&Q For 12/21/24

This week’s quote comes to us from none other than Clark Griswold who said:

“If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.” 

1. What was the context of Clark’s quote?

A) He realized he hadn’t brought a saw out to the tree farm.

B) His in-laws announced they were coming for Christmas.

C) He found out what his Christmas bonus was.

D) Cousin Eddie, his wife, kids and their dog showed up for Christmas unannounced.

2. What product did Clark have waiting for approval at the FDA?

A) A cereal varnish to prevent milk from making the flakes soggy.

B) A fruitcake that retains its longevity while tasting better than fruitcake.

C) A cooking oil that can double as a sled lubricant.

D) Hot chocolate that stays hot for up to three hours.

3. What were Clark’s father and father-in-law arguing about on the morning after they arrived at the Griswold’s?

A) Inflation.

B) The Bears.

C) Ronald Reagan.

D) Spam.

4. Clark’s children were named:

A) Rocky and Ruby Sue.

B) Archie and Lillibet.

C) Margo and Todd.

D) Audrey and Rusty.

5. Cousin Eddie is a cousin to who?

A) Clark.

B) Ellen.

C) Neither.

D) They never say.

6. Clark and Ellen’s neighbors drive a:

A) Chevy van.

B) Volvo.

C) BMW.

D) Saab.

7. What did Clark’s dad teach him?

A) How to navigate a complicated family Christmas.

B) How to change the oil on his car by himself.

C) How to decorate a Christmas tree.

D) Everything he knew about outdoor illumination.

8. Cousin Eddie explains that his daughter was no longer cross-eyed because:

A) Surgery corrected the problem.

B) She grew out of it.

C) She got kicked by a mule.

D) She fell down a well.

9. What was Clark’s boss’ name?

A) Frank Shirley.

B) Frank Potter.

C) Ebenezer Shirley.

D) Shirley McClain.

10. When Aunt Bethany is asked to say Grace, what does she recite?

A) Grace.

B) The Lord’s Prayer.

C) The National Anthem.

D) The Pledge of Allegiance.

11. How many lights did Clark install on his house?

A) 10,000.

B) 25,000.

C) 50,000.

D) 100,000.

12. When the police captain discovers that Clark’s boss, who had been kidnapped, had eliminated Christmas bonuses, he remarks:

A) “Given the state of the economy, that makes a lot of sense.”

B) “Eddie’s motivation doesn’t matter. He kidnapped the guy.”

C) “Let’s all calm down and see if we can work this out. After all, it’s Christmas.”

D) “Mister, if I had a rubber hose right now, I’d…”

Answers

1: D

2: A

3: D

4: D

5: C, but the judges will also accept B. Eddie was married to Ellen’s cousin Catherine.

6: D

7: D

8: C. Her eyes became cross-eyed when she fell down a well (D), but they were corrected when she was kicked by a mule (C).

9: A

10: D

11: B

12: D

Scoring and your prize:

10 – 12 correct: A Christmas bonus big enough to put in a pool.

7 – 9 correct: Todd’s stereo system (before being destroyed by an ice missile).

4 – 6 correct: A nice big slice of Catherine’s turkey.

Less than 4: Membership in the Jelly of the Month Club, “the gift that keeps on giving.”