This week’s quote comes to us from none other than a spokesperson for Top Trumps, a company that is producing a version of Monopoly built around Madison. The unfortunately named company is asking Madisonians to suggest street names and other details to replace the iconic items in the original game based on Atlantic City. In a press release Top Trumps said:
“With Monopoly: Madison we want to authentically capture the essence of what makes this city special.”
- In Monopoly: Madison, when you pass GO you will receive:
A) $200 in cash.
B) $200 in cash, but only if you earn less than $50,000 per year.
C) $200 in cash, but only if you are a member of a certified “marginalized community.”
D) Nothing. You were only able to pass GO because of your privilege.
2. The game pieces in Monopoly: Madison will include:
A) A decapitated Hans Christian Heg.
B) A “pussy” hat.
C) A bullhorn.
D) Vel Phillips.
3. Instead of going to jail, in Monopoly: Madison you will:
A) Be enrolled in a restorative justice program.
B) Given an extra $200 to make up for the oppression that has caused you to commit a crime.
C) Given an extra roll of the dice since your first roll obviously went wrong due to the unfairness baked into the game.
D) Go free because in Monopoly: Madison the new jail is too small to accept you.
4. In Monopoly: Madison, each time you build a new house you will be required to:
A) Build another house and give it away to a player with fewer houses.
B) Move it to another property if the neighbors decide there’s too much density.
C) Wait for five turns before you can actually build as you must run the gauntlet of city committees first.
D) Get serious. You cannot build a house in Monopoly: Madison.
5. In Monopoly: Madison, “free parking” has been replaced by:
A) A park.
B) An underground ramp where parking is $10 per hour.
C) A BRT stop.
D) Nothing. There’s no parking in Monopoly: Madison.
6. In Monopoly: Madison, when you land on another player’s property you must:
A) Pay them rent.
B) Pay them rent but the amount may not go up regardless of the number of houses on the property because of the new rent control ordinance.
C) Lecture the property owner on the evils of capitalism.
D) Pay them nothing since housing is a human right.
7. In the feedback that they have so unwisely requested from Madisonians, Top Trumps will hear that “Monopoly” is not a word we wish to have associated with our community. Instead we demand that the game be called:
A) Cooperative: Madison.
B) Smash the Patriarchy: Madison.
C) Socialism: Madison.
D) Committee Meetings: Madison.
8. In regular Monopoly the game ends when one player drives the others into bankruptcy. In Monopoly: Madison the game ends when:
A) All of the resources in the game have been distributed evenly among the players.
B) All the houses have become so expensive that none of the players can afford to continue.
C) All of the players are stuck at the intersection of Blair, Wilson and John Nolen Drive.
D) Each player has received their third “Go Back to the Urban Design Commission” card.
Answers
This week all the answers make sense.
Yellow Stripes & Dead Armadillos 
Good job.
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It’s interesting how media analysts seem dumbfounded about the lack of movement in the polls. I suggest that Democrats think the election is about politics and therefore should be effected by things candidates do or say in response to Issues. But Republicans see it as a class issue and enjoy seeing their champion primarily working to provoke individual Democrats who can’t comprehend that they deserve to be disliked.
Ken Streit
Sent from Outlook for iOShttps://aka.ms/o0ukef
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This Q&A made me stop thinking about the election for several minutes. Do more posts like this!
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Dave,
Either you are a brilliant satirist, OR —, you received an advance copy of the game, and actually read the rules! Great job!
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The answers to Question 8 are exquisite. No one but a former Mayor could gin them up.
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