This week’s quote comes to us from none other than Stormy Daniels, who in testimony this week at Donald Trump’s hush money trial, responded to his lawyer’s allegations that she had profited from her association with Trump by hawking merchandise, including a Patron Saint of Indictments votive candle. Daniels shot back:
“Not unlike Mr. Trump.”
- The candle, pictured at right, retails for:
A) $99.99
B) $53
C) $19.99
D) It’s yours free when you buy her complete set of Greatest Hits DVDs!
2. If you get both the Trump Bible and the Stormy Daniels candle, you can pray for:
A) Trump’s soul.
B) Daniels’ soul.
C) The soul of America.
D) The hope that this will just all go away.
3. Which of these is NOT a Stormy Daniels film title?
A) Lust on the Prairie.
B) Love in an Elevator.
C) Sex Door Neighbors.
D) Nail the Chief.
4. Of the things Donald Trump has been accused of or found liable for, which of these is the least of it?
A) Trying to overturn election results in Georgia.
B) Sexually assaulting a woman in a department store.
C) Defrauding investors of hundreds of millions of dollars by lying about his assets.
D) Paying off a porn star so that she didn’t reveal an affair she had with him.
5. Of Trump’s cronies or former cronies, who is the sleaziest?
A) Michael Cohen.
B) Rudy Giuliani.
C) Paul Manafort.
D) Michael Avenatti.
6. If Trump is found guilty what will happen?
A) He’ll lose the election.
B) He’ll sell more Bibles.
C) He’ll market a new line of Perfect and Classy Jail Attire.
D) Not a damn thing.
Answers:
1: B
2: D
3: D
4: D
5: Trick question. Michael Avenatti was Stormy Daniels’ lawyer before he was convicted of fraud and extortion and sent to prison. He’s plenty sleazy, but not a Trump crony. All other answers are acceptable.
6: D
Yellow Stripes & Dead Armadillos 
Ya, I keep thinking: I care as much about this trial as I do Clinton’s impeachment hearings. AND, boy does Trump surround himself with the creme de le creme….
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