Former Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice Michael Gableman told reporters that he had the best night’s sleep of his life this week while attending a conference in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
The perfect rest came, Gableman claims, as the result of the MyPillow he received in his trinket bag upon registering at MyPillow company founder Mike Lindell’s conference built around baseless conspiracy theories about last fall’s elections.
“That is one great pillow,” Gableman said. “Anybody who can make a pillow like that has to be taken seriously when he claims fraud in an election, don’t you think?”
When challenged for spending taxpayer dollars to travel to South Dakota and to Arizona to witness the also discredited forensic audit of results there conducted by an outfit called Cyber Ninjas, Gableman defended both trips. “They worked in harmony because in Arizona I got a pair of Ninjas pajamas. I have every reason to believe that the comfort of those PJ’s combined with the cloud-like nature of the MyPillow worked together to give me a great night’s sleep.”
Gableman was mum about what he may have learned to help his investigation into a Wisconsin election in which a total of 27 voters out of 3.3 million were found to have possibly committed fraud and only two have been referred for prosecution.
“But I can return to Wisconsin with the firm knowledge that every Badger can get a good night’s sleep with the right pillow. And, if you order online now, Mike will send you a second pillow for free. Just use code word BAMBOO.”
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2 thoughts on “Gableman Reports Excellent Night’s Sleep”
Don’t you mean “Bamboozled”?