Today marks the return of the not-so-popular Quote & Quiz. A regular Saturday feature here at YSDA, it’s lightly read by dozens. But we like it and if our readers don’t, well, that’s their problem.
This week’s quote comes to us from none other than Tesla’s board chair, Robyn Denholm, who said:
“The plan is about the future of the company and Elon’s role in that in terms of leading the company to produce fabulous products and deliver for shareholders.”
- The plan to which Denholm refers would:
A) Provide a succession plan to anticipate Elon Musk’s departure from Tesla.
B) Purchase a permanent five acre plot on the White House lawn to be converted into a sales lot for Teslas.
C) Finally provide Elon and his family with company health insurance, subject to a copay and a hefty deductible.
D) Provide Musk with an incentive pay package.
2. Assuming just for the sake of the next question that the answer to question 1 is D, how much is the incentive worth?
A) $1 million.
B) $1 billion.
C) $1 trillion.
D) Membership in the Jelly of the Month Club.
3. Again, assuming that the answer above is 1:D (and don’t count on that as I could be totally faking you out!) which of the following would NOT have to happen to unlock his reward?
A) Musk would have to drive up Tesla’s valuation to $8.5 trillion from the roughly $1 trillion it is today.
B) Deploy one million autonomous taxies and one million robots.
C) Increase Tesla’s profits by 24 times what it was in 2024.
D) Use SpaceX to blast himself on a century long mission to Pluto while disabling all communication devices with Earth.
4. The average American worker’s incentive package includes:
A) A $10,000 performance incentive.
B) An extra week’s paid vacation.
C) A special Employee of the Month parking spot.
D) Membership in the Jelly of the Month Club.
5. At a shareholder meeting Musk drew warm applause when he said he would direct what kind of devotion to the company?
A) Maniacal.
B) Homicidal.
C) Genocidal.
D) Cynical.
6. Embarrassed Tesla owners have adorned their bumpers with messages apologizing for their ride. Which of these is NOT among them?
A) Vintage Tesla: Pre-Madness Edition.
B) Eco Friendly, Not Elon Friendly.
C) Elon Musk is a Terrible President.
D) It’s Actually a Ford.
Answers
1: D
2: D
3: The board hotly debated but then narrowly rejected D.
4: D, but only the most generous employers provide it.
5: A
6: D, but I like it. I should copyright it.
Yellow Stripes & Dead Armadillos 