The Q&Q For 11/30/24

This week’s quote comes to us from none other than UW senior football player Hunter Wohler, who after Wisconsin ended its season yesterday with another dismal performance, said:

“I know coach Fick is going to give everything he can and everything he has to this program and to this team, 100% and without a doubt.”

1. According to Statcast, how many times has the phrase “100% and without a doubt” been used this season by players, coaches and TV football analysts?

A) 1,000 times.

B) 10,000 times.

C) 100,000 times.

D) They haven’t invented a number that high.

2. Wohler’s statement was reassuring because normally you’d expect a guy making $7.5 million a year to give:

A) 100%, but with plenty of doubts.

B) 85% and with some second thoughts now and then.

C) 60% on a good day and in deep despair.

D) Oh, let’s face it, this is hopeless. I’m just gonna phone it in until they buy out my contract.

3. When was the last time the Badgers were this bad?

A) The year Tonya Harding beat up Nancy Kerrigan.

B) The year Nancy Sinatra released “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’.”

C) The year Nancy Reagan took over running the country from Ronnie.

D) The year Nancy Pelosi was elected to Congress.

4. Incredibly, the Badgers could still go to a bowl game if there aren’t enough teams with winning records to fill all the slots. How many damn bowl games are there, anyway?

A) 37

B) 47

C) 57

D) They haven’t invented a number that high.

5. Of the remaining bowl games that the Badgers might sneak into, which one of these is NOT a real thing?

A) Famous Idaho Potatoes Bowl.

B) Pop Tarts Bowl.

C) Duke’s Mayo Bowl.

D) Wishbone Dressing Salad Bowl.

6. If the Badgers were to fire Coach Fick, despite his giving 100% without a doubt, how much would they have to pay him just to go away?

A) $11 million.

B) $33 million.

C) $75 million.

D) They haven’t invented a number that high.

7. The Fick is counting on a hot new high school quarterback that he just signed. His name is:

A) Carter Smith.

B) Smith Carter.

C) Jimmy Carter.

D) Hodding Carter.

8. Analysts believe the strongest, most promising aspect of the Badgers’ game going into next season is:

A) The offense.

B) The defense.

C) The special teams.

D) The band.

9. Finally, what percentage of Badger fans actually do have a doubt?

A) 0%

B) 50%

C) 75%

D) 100%

Answers

1: D

2: Most of us who have earned $7.5 million a year to do a job believe we should give 100% and have as few doubts about this as possible.

3: A, it was 1994.

4: B, but D is also acceptable as it feels like it.

5: D

6: B, $11 million is what they shelled out to Paul Christ and $75 million is what Texas A&M paid Jimbo Fisher to go fishing.

7: A

8: D

9: D