The Q&Q For 11/16/24

This week’s quote comes to us from none other than House Speaker Mike Johnson. Referring to the completed, but unreleased, House Ethics Committee report on Matt Gaetz. Johnson said:

“I’m going to strongly request that the Ethics Committee not issue the report, because that is not the way we do things in the House, And I think that would be a terrible precedent to set.”

1. The Ethics Committee was investigating Gaetz for what?

A) Way over-ordering on his office stationary.

B) Repeatedly referring to the Speaker as, “that little twit, Mikey Johnson.”

C) Filling his suit jacket pockets with extra rolls in the House cafeteria before going through the check out.

D) Sex trafficking under-age girls.

2. When word that Donald Trump had nominated Gaetz for Attorney General reached a closed caucus of House Republicans, it was reported that they:

A) Cheered that a man of this high caliber and impeccable integrity would be the nation’s top law enforcement officer.

B) Questioned whether that stationary surplus thing would snag his appointment.

C) Fell into a shouting match over who would get his office.

D) Cheered the fact that Gaetz would be gone from their caucus.

3. Upon his nomination, Gaetz immediately resigned from the House. He did this because:

A) He wanted to devote all of his energy to preparing to take on the great burdens and high responsibility of his new office.

B) He wanted to devote all his energy to securing his confirmation in the Senate.

C) He wanted to spend his time meeting with the victims of crime to get a better understanding of the awesome responsibility of bringing them justice and closure.

D) He hoped to quash release of the Ethics Committee report.

4. When Johnson said that issuing the report after Gaetz resigned would be, “not the way we do things in the House,” he meant:

A) The common practice is that ethics investigations of House members are stopped if the subject of the investigation resigns.

B) It would be wrong to needlessly put the victims of Gaetz’ misdeeds through a public process if the House had no recourse to punish a now former member.

C) Rather than issue a report, the committee’s findings should be turned over to a grand jury so that they could consider a criminal indictment.

D) Trump had ordered him to kill the report so that it couldn’t be used to block Gaetz’ confirmation.

5. It is common practice for House Speakers to:

A) Take a hands off approach to ethics investigations.

B) Have final say about the release of reports.

C) Encourage the member to resign before release if the findings are damaging.

D) Do whatever the hell Donald Trump tells them to do.

6. The chances that the report will now be leaked are:

A) 97%

B) 98%

C) 99%

D) The same as the chances that Oregon will beat Wisconsin tonight.

7. Bonus question: which one is Matt Gaetz and which is Jethro Bodine?

Answers

1: D

2: D

3: D

4: A, though D is also correct in this case.

5: A, though D is also correct in this case.

6: D, as it’s the most certain of all the outcomes.

7. Gaetz is at right.