The Q&Q For 8/10/24

This week’s quote comes to us from none other than Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., who last week explained:

“I pulled over and I picked up the bear cub and put him in the back of my van because I was going to skin the bear. It was [in] very good condition and I was going to put the meat in my refrigerator.”

1. Where did RFK, Jr., find said bear?

A) In Yellowstone.

B) Along a highway in New York.

C) At the Washington Zoo (luckily not in the Panda section).

D) In one of his frequent hallucinations.

2. Having secured the dead bear, where did Kennedy take it?

A) To a butcher.

B) To a taxidermist.

C) To DNR authorities.

D) To Central Park.

3. Assuming for the sake of the next question that the answer above is 2.D, what did Kennedy do next?

A) He contacted New York animal control authorities to retrieve the bear carcass.

B) He took the bear to Strawberry Fields where he cut out its heart and raised it to the moon while crying out a Native American chant in honor of John Lenon.

C) He placed a bicycle near it to make it appear as if the bear had been killed in a tragic bike-on-bear accident.

D) He scattered needles around it to make it look like the bear had died as the result of vaccinations.

4. What prompted Kennedy to tell the bear story?

A) Polls were showing that the public was losing sight of just how odd he was and he felt the need to reestablish his brand.

B) The story was going to come out as part of an unflattering profile in the New Yorker and so he wanted to get out in front of it by putting his own bizarre spin on a bizarre story. Mission accomplished.

C) He wanted to highlight the nutritional benefits of lean, organic bear meat.

D) He wanted to highlight the dangers of cycling in areas with a high population of bears.

5. It could be worse. How?

A) He could have taken his family’s pet bear cub to a gravel pit and shot it.

B) He could have referred to childless Americans as “cat ladies.”

C) He could have strapped a bear cub to the roof of the family station wagon before setting off on a vacation.

D) He could have microwaved a Parakeet.

6. Kennedy’s presence is the presidential race hurts:

A) Kamala Harris.

B) Donald Trump.

C) Our sense of reverence for his father.

D) It’s a wash.

7. For those Americans who remember and revere his father their reaction was:

A) Oh, please, make it stop.

Answers

1: B

2: D

3: C, but you could just see him doing B, couldn’t you?

4: B, but this may be more cunning than it appears as it distracts from more serious allegations of sexual assault in the story.

5: All answers are correct.

6: B. Polls show him taking more votes from Trump than the Democrat, but C is true also.

7: A. There’s no other reaction possible.