This week’s quote comes to us from none other than Justice Samuel Alito, who said in reference to his wife, Martha-Ann’s, apparent propensity to fly controversial flags from the family properties:
“She makes her own decisions and I honor her right to do so.”
- Martha-Ann’s response has not been reported, but it was most likely:
A) Thank you, Sam, for allying with my feminist beliefs and those of all oppressed women everywhere.
B) That’s, fine, Sam. But I asked you to fix that faucet around the time of the Dobbs decision and the damn thing is still leaking.
C) I guess a woman is free to make her own decisions about flags but not about whether to have a child, do I have that right, Sam?
D) You threw me under the bus, you pig!
2. Martha-Ann (and not the Justice) was alleged to have flown the American flag upside down from a pole in their backyard in a Washington suburb. When is it officially permissible to fly a flag upside down?
A) When you’re pissed off by the results of a free and fair election.
B) Whenever a Donald Trump trial is in session.
C) To signal distress in an emergency, like a sinking ship.
D) To signal a middle finger to your neighbor over a petty dispute.
3. Martha-Ann (not the Justice) also apparently flew the Appeal to Heaven flag, which features a pine tree with those words emblazoned above it, from a pole at the couple’s vacation home in New Jersey. That flag has come to symbolize:
A) Membership in the American Christmas Tree Farmers Association.
B) A movement among baseball fans to allow balls and strikes calls to be appealed to a higher authority.
C) The Christian nationalist movement.
D) The wry prayer of liberal constitutional lawyers that there might be a court of last resort beyond the 6-3 conservative majority on SCOTUS.
4. These flag controversies have caused some to call on Alito to recuse himself from what cases?
A) Those involving flags.
B) Those involving disputes between neighbors.
C) Those involving the January 6th insurrection.
D) Those involving husbands and wives.
5. The study of flags is called:
A) Vexillology.
B) Vexiography.
C) Veximiticulation.
D) Vasectomy.
6. In 2019 Nike was forced to dump shoes before they even hit the market when former NFL quarterback and activist Colin Kaepernick criticized them for being decorated with what flag?
A) The “Betsy Ross” flag because it was used when America allowed slavery.
B) The current American flag because it was in use when the San Francisco 49ers cut him.
C) The “Don’t Tread On Me” flag because he thought it was a bad pun to have on a shoe.
D) The checkered flag because he hates auto racing.
7. In addition to being displayed by protesters at the Capitol on January 6th and at the Alioto’s, the Appeal to Heaven flag was also flown at:
A) The Indy 500.
B) The Republican National Headquarters.
C) Arlington National Cemetery.
D) San Francisco City Hall.
Answers
1: She should have said C.
2: C
3: C
4: C
5: A
6: A
7: D
Yellow Stripes & Dead Armadillos 